My name is Dratz, and I walk into doors, stare at goats, and fly planes. I also really, really like Zoids.

- Tags


I am emotional right now and I’m going to regret this in the future. So know this was sort of barfed out with haste and not much thinking.

What am I doing.

Don’t read this if you are easily set off by things, because I don’t… I really don’t want to hurt anyone. But I feel kinda lousy and need to get this off my chest.

Shout-out to the Internet. Whoo.

I’m just really tired of being constantly put down because of my religious beliefs. Or rather, lack thereof.

Nearly every single day, I hear atheists being compared to being a piece of shit, or radical uncaring and unjust monsters, or stupid moral-less scum that is going to go to hell. To list a few. I’m tired of being told that as an atheist, we “shove our opinions down others throats” and are “making rude remarks” about other people’s religions. I’m tired of being told off as being selfish and rude and unreasonable and domineering when I can’t recall ever attacking someone’s religion.

I don’t care what you believe in, okay? I respect it. I respect you. I truly believe that God is there for and exists for those that believe in him. But for goodness sake, I know I’ve done bad things, and I’m not a perfect person, but I am really sick and frightened and just so struck down when I see this nearly daily.

I respect you. I respect your opinions and your beliefs. Am I so repulsive that I can’t at least have a little courtesy in return?

I think that religion is a beautiful thing. I think that it inspires people and gives them something to turn to when they are in the dark. Religion can bring people together. I see it bring such joy and happiness and revelation to people, and I am honestly glad that they have found that. I really am.

I’m getting tired of being told that I’m going to go to hell or that God hates me or that I’m wrong, what I think is wrong, and I should repent and say sorry for who I am. Obviously, it’s not okay. It’s not okay that I am this way and I am a stupid, worthless, evil, faithless piece of fuck. Am I right?

I feel a little insulted and assaulted when people make all these remarks about atheists and atheism. I won’t run through them. We all know what they are. Is it so wrong for me to point out that there are rotten apples in every group? I don’t hate people with religion because some kid fucking told me I was disgusting and wrong and I needed to repent and save myself and that I was going to hell. I don’t need that. I don’t need someone to pull a Bible out of their pocket, hold it up to my face, and ask me to read out of it.

And I’m going to stop there and not go into details because the rest upsets me. That was one of the most unpleasant, terrifying experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life. But do I hold a grudge against everyone because that one person made me feel so bad? Do I hold it against everyone because I’m constantly being thrown to the side, kicked in the head, and told that I’m dirty, inferior, and bogus and wrong?

I thought that the point of America was to welcome everyone, of all races and all backgrounds and all beliefs. I thought that we were supposed to be able to practice what we practice freely, and respect everyone else, because no one likes to have their values shot at, and no one likes to feel lousy and dumb and like a thorn in the side of society.

That’s… kind of what I feel like right now. As if I’ve done something terrible and unforgivable, and that I don’t have a right to speak, or act, or exist. Like I don’t have the right to be here. I just feel so, so bad. All the time. About even breathing and being alive.

I don’t know. I’m… going to get off the computer now. I’m so sorry.

I’m just so, so sorry.


  1. muxical reblogged this from oneblacklily and added:
    YES. A million times yes. I’ve been saying...for years. People can believe
  2. kandaheartnet said: I LOVE YOUUUUU. I don’t care if you have a religion or don’t have a religion or whatever, because, frankly, those people who are trying to put you down don’t matter one fucking bit. <3<3<3<3<3<3
  3. oneblacklily posted this